How to remove myself from this equation, I have no idea….

6 years ago I married the love of my life, two years after he lost his job. 3 years after we were still searching. And at this point I was drained. All my resources were being used to look after him, our 4 kids and myself. I also had the responsibility of taking care of my retired parents so you can imagine what I was going through. You will be wondering, why the kids if I knew I couldn’t take care of them? Yes, I was hopeful, and they are two sets of twins, it hasn’t been easy.

He did nothing to support me. I could feel his pain but a man no matter what should fend for his family.

Then it happened. He started becoming moody and constantly ignoring me. Even my greetings were met with silence. As I stated, I understood his problems and decided to endure and wait for the change. He moved out of the room eventually. It was like my mere presence irritated him. Tried to talk to him several times about what was going on but the awkward silence and action as if I was a nuisance became annoying to me. Let me state again that I was the one providing for the family. At least I deserved some emotional support from him, but this attitude was totally uncalled for.

I was becoming depressed at some point as work was not also peaceful. I remember rushing myself to the hospital several times for check-up. A new boss was employed at our workplace straight from the pits of hell and started tormenting my life and sidelining me unnecessarily. At this point my soul was screaming from within for help and I needed to talk to someone urgently.

I spoke to a good friend about my  problems and she suggested it could be spiritual and has a pastor who “sees things”. As a depressed soul, I followed her to that church for mid week service. I was surprised at the sight of the crowd. How?? These people don’t have work to go to or they are self employed ?? Probably their mode of employment was to worship God. Well, that’s none of my business.

Let me emphasize on the fact that I don’t look like my problems. Pretty and Bougie by all standards. I don’t even look my age or look like I’ve carried twins in my body so I wouldn’t blame the prophet too much.

On that day during church service, he started prophesying to people. Some were falling or pretending to fall under the power of his anointing and others were singing his praises. Then it got to my turn. He started to prophecy, he said, that day was the end of my childlessness. God said I am not barren, and I will bare triplets. That God says my dead older brother cursed me before he died but he was about to remove that curse and I will get pregnant that month.

I was so confused because I didn’t know my kids are not mine and I am barren also. I am also the only child of my parents so which dead brother again?

Ei!!! What was I hearing. He told me to wait after church for special prayers, which I did. After church he got busy with so many people waiting to see him that he told me to come back the next day in the evening.

My friend claims the pastor sometimes doesn’t want to disgrace or reveal our real problems in church and that’s the reason he told me to meet him in private ??????

 I am in total shock. Why would he say what he said? Because what he said is equally damaging.

Do you think I should take the man serious and go back to him??

What are the odds??

-Leila


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