I have dated quite a couple of guys. The first man I dated was when I was 18 years. Before him I had watched a lot of porn online and wanted to experience what all those moaning was about. I also heard a lot of stories from my friends. But the experience was nothing close to what I had watched or heard. I assumed he wasn’t the one and tried finding ways to break up with him. I met another guy some years later. His kisses, OMG could drive me crazy but the action…..I could never reach there. I was always left hanging wondering what the end of a female sex journey felt like.

I watched another porn where a lady was self-pleasuring herself. I decided to try and it felt so so good. I couldn’t believe how good it felt but it felt there was something missing……the kisses, the touch, feeling desired…. All was left out and I realized I longed for more orgasm after every self-pleasing act. Back to square one, I guess.

My first guy was stiff, nothing to talk about. His Hugs felt like hugging a non-living thing, so emotionally detached.

Second guy kissed so well, knew where to touch but penetrative wise he wouldn’t get me there.

The third guy pissed me off so much because of his over-confidence, which almost became cockiness. The kind of man you just hang in there for him to finish only to feel like you wasted your time and value.

The forth guy, charming, handsome, every woman’s dream when it comes to spoiling you but in bed, his dick was that of 10 years old, tooth pick to be precise. No amount of maneuvering could result in anything better.

I began to wonder if these porn that we watch is real or am just unlucky.

Then I visited a friend. We went out for drinks and realized it was too late in the night to go home so decided to spend the night. We were both tipsy and started talking naughty trying to find out each other’s fantasies and all. Before I realized we were kissing. Ok so let me break it down, he is the boyfriend to my friend who has gone for vacation, so at the back of my mind I knew this was totally wrong but trust me, let me just blame it on the alcohol, he knew exactly what to do to get a woman on her knees. Am talking about nothing I have felt before. He assured me that he just wanted to touch me and wouldn’t have sex with me. Fair enough because I knew this is Bad. He started fingering me, kissing me all over my shoulder, neck and sucking my boobs. I didn’t last long, I was screaming am cumming within the shortest time. What just happened? I had an orgasm…and it felt good. But this was a one time thing but I started believing there is hope.

Years down the line and self pleasure was the only time I could achieve an orgasm so I resorted to it till I met this young guy, way younger than me. The first time was total wack but I noticed I was myself around it. With him I knew I could be my real self. With time I got so used to his body and him to mine that we could explore every inch and though I was not reaching there it was satisfying. And then one day he went down on me, ate me inside out, took his time and got my legs and every part of me shaking.

He started with a seductive warm up…neck kisses. Then moved down to my belly, inner thighs, and all around my vulva. He Run his tongue around my nipples and played me like a guitar. What did it for me was the fact that he made sure I was totally comfortable.

He rolled over and gently kissed my pussy lips. He kissed them the same way he kisses my real lips. He was sweet and soft and even slipped his tongue in like he was French kissing me. He was in no hurry, but I was dying. I wanted him to do something, but he just continued to be gentle and soft. I think after a while he must have sensed my anger because he got up on his knees and asked me to get comfortable. I felt my pussy open and my juices run down my ass.

OMG, I thought I was going to cum right then and there, but before I knew it he did it again, and then a third time!

By now I was moaning and in need of some serious movement on my clit, so I pushed his face down into my pussy. This inspired him to get a little aggressive. He’d stop and suck on my lips then suck on my clit then go back to full on eating. I wanted his fingers inside of me, and I think he knew I did, and did exactly that. Within some few minutes I was screaming “stop, I can’t take it anymore”.

I couldn’t wait for the next time. I fell deeply in love with him. We became official though we decided to keep it on the low.

Why am I here sharing this then? After almost three years of dating, I found out he has been using me all along and even dating other ladies.

Aside that he is about getting married. I am not willing and ready to let go. He wants to keep me as the side girl,…very disrespectful. I am confused because I can’t let go either. Should I allow him to keep me as a side chic? Should I destroy his relationship? what should I do? Your advice is needed……HELP


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