I have been married to this man for the past 12 years, it was only traditional marriage but i think it counts. We Ghanaian call it engagement because it really has no legal backing.…. just by the way.
I was pregnant at that time and needed the engagement so not to get my parents angry. I helped him acquire most of the engagement stuff, with the agreement for him to pay me back when we are comfortable. That never happened though. We were so deeply in-love….at least so I thought.
Though we had our own ups and downs, we were truly happy together. I saw us growing old together and sharing great memories.
I am a hardworking woman so never really depended on him for anything. Something I can now confidently say I regret. Some men don’t deserve these kind of help as they tend to take advantage and not even pamper you or show any form of appreciation for all your efforts.
Years on, we decided to buy land and start to build. I will take care of the home, and everything related to it, so he builds our future, we agreed. Stupid decision, I know but for me I was doing all this for a better future and a comfortable old age life together. I later found out the land I helped him buy didn’t even have my name but rather his mother’s name. But this didn’t deter me from still helping him
Let me state that I am quite a reserve person. I don’t nag or like to have myself in a sad situation. So even when times are bad, I decide to believe we are all adults, matured adults who know exactly what we are doing. This makes communication poor and difficult but that’s my nature.
5 years ago, a strange pastor told me to be careful as my husband might walk away from the marriage. Anyway, I don’t believe in these things. Even though I prayed about it I didn’t pay much attention to the pastor or his warning.
Three years down the line his attitude totally changed towards me. He wouldn’t talk to me or touch me. I respect myself too much to be manipulated so again I kept quiet. Maybe I am using the wrong words, I believe I do not deserve that. I did all a wife should do. I still supported him and footed 80% of the house bill if not more.
Now to the main issue I need advice on, Last two weeks Saturday, I didn’t feel like doing anything at home. Been drained from work and house chores. My entire body was hurting so I just decided to be taking naps and relaxing. After all no one takes care of me. Even when sick I am my own responsibility. He woke up very early, dressed and left the house early.
Later in the afternoon I decided to go buy kenkey so the kids and I can take that for lunch. I saw my “husband’s car parked in front of a church. I thought maybe there was a problem, so I packed and walked closer. Couldn’t find him but I heard a familiar voice, so I walked towards the church. There he was, in a very nice, neat suit in front of the altar exchanging vows……
I was in total shock, that I froze till an usher asked if I want to sit. I asked for the program line up which will obviously include a picture and names of the couple just to be sure and run out to my car and drove back home. Cried on the way, cleaned up and served the kids. Couldn’t bring myself to eat or drink anything that day.
He came back home in the evening, not in the suit I saw him in but in the cloths he went out with. He wasn’t wearing the ring either. I kept the card in the car.
Has been two weeks now. He sleeps at home every night though he comes late. I don’t just understand what’s going on. He has informed me of his business trip next week and I will not be shocked if that’s the honeymoon .
Should I confront him or his parents?
As I stated I have used most of my resources for the home and don’t have much to my name.
What do you advise I do?
Keep quiet and watch him?
Should I confront him?
Should I plan and walk out of this marriage?
A sister needs your urgent Advice???
Valentine Sena
She should poison him little by little till he dies slowly
Judy Agbeli
Kyerese I don’t know what to say……murder?! Not everyone can live with that on their conscience
Kwame Amoh
She should just plan and walk out and leave him to his diabolic plan.
Judy Agbeli
It wouldn’t be easy for her but yeah is the best for her health
Babonyire Adafula
Thank God for giving you the strength to survive and overcome the dreadful moments. You don’t have anything to lose. Do not confront him. Wish him well on his business trip. Wait for his return. Then gently have a conversation with him. Confront him with the card. Thereafter walk out of the marriage with your kids and lead a decent life. Speak little.
Judy Agbeli
So calm and collected
Patience
She should swallow the anger and bitterness of seeing his face everyday and find a way to acquire the properties she has worked her whole life for. Find a way to change the deeds in her name and when you are certain you have everything, serve him the card as dinner and leave with your kids ..
Judy Agbeli
chai…..biggest revenge package. i like
Joshh
I don’t even know what’s preventing her from getting a rat’s poison and doing the needful!?
Judy Agbeli
Ei Ei Ei …..???
Rev. Dr. Elijah Ireneus Kwame Bununya
You should have walked straight to your in laws after telling your parents what you saw. Tell your parents first before she lives for the sole call business trip. After pack your things and go to your parents to save your life from a demon like man.
Judy Agbeli
Thanks
Kelvin
Walk out of the marriage. Peace is essential but confront him and disclose the outcast he is
Judy Agbeli
Advice well taken.
Gameli
There was a clear evidence on the card, and this gives enough proof for a confrontation. I also think a meeting should be arranged ASAP with parents of both families. I personally don’t approve of a divorce but rather separation
For the business trip I suggest u ask him to cancel it if he values u n the kids
Judy Agbeli
On what basis ?? Cancel the trip based on a convo they are yet to have ??
Gameli
She should tell they guys parents. She shouldn’t confront him personally.
So they confront their son. I believe he won’t lie to them. If only they don’t know of the new marriage.
After she finds out the truth she should leave. If he could hide such a thing, only God knows what other things, he’s capable of doing.
Judy Agbeli
Obviously is his parents who married him off. So now what happens ??
Emmanuel
This lady’s situation is terrible and disheartening. Firstly, I think that she made a mistake of footing a greater percentage of the marriage expenses with the hope that the husband will pay back some money to her. This nice action by the lady to protect the marriage and save both of them from disgrace was not appreciated by the husband.
Considering the turn of events, I think that this lady must confront the husband to register her displeasure about his attitude towards her .
She must take a further step to pursue a legal case against the husband to get back all her properties she has toiled to get. She must also be prepared to divorce the husband ad soon as she gets back her properties. After all she can’t continue to go through the mental torture. She should rather concentrate on taking care of the children. I believe at the right time she would get another man who would love and appreciate her the way she is.
Nancy
She should use the knowledge of his shenanigans to work his psyche and watch him make a mess of himself! Make his set her up in a business, then just plan and walk out. Despite sharing kids, Its not the end of the world. She should not be afraid of the unknown. Life is big and long to sit around and grieve over someone who does not see your value!
Judy Agbeli
Life is indeed big and long to sit around and grieve over someone who does not see your value!
Lola
When will we learn?! Smh
Judy Agbeli
hhmmmm