In today’s world that women offer more than just sex or cooking in the kitchen I expect women to put more value on themselves than allowing themselves to be manipulated or tortured for the sake of love. I am very emotional about this topic so let’s take a dive.
If you have been on the dating scene long enough, you have heard one or two breakup excuses.
From the most honest “I am just am not attracted to you anymore” to the worst—when a guy just disappears without even making an excuse “ghosting”, there are as many breakup excuses out there as there are couples breaking up.
The most used, most annoying , the most spot on. yet so accurate one that most guys use , “it’s not you, it’s me!. Guys use this excuse so much because it helps them not feel guilty about breaking up . When a man makes the decision to end a relationship it is always about him, and never about you. Think about that and you won’t feel so bad.
A conversation with a group of men made me realize there is a new breakup tactic, frustrate her till she leaves”, ……really!!! Why will you take a woman who you have shared memories with through pain just because you don’t want her anymore.
Why torment, frustrate and manipulate her until she is tired to continue the relationship. Why “use” her knowing very well you don’t intend spending a lifetime loving her, why make her even feel this is forever …..
One thing to note is, you can lay next to a man overnight, feed him, cloth him, give him 360 degrees sex and you still wouldn’t be the woman he wants. He can travel miles to come and see you and still be keeping another on the side.
Ask a man what he wants in a good woman and watch him either describe his mother or describes a slave.
A lot of these men nowadays just want a woman to TAKE CARE OF THEM or they want a WEAK-MINDED woman that they can CONTROL and have POWER OVER to do anything he says!! These men nowadays be wanting a woman to clean up after his TRIFLING messes, feed him like a “king”, give him SEX on demand, not speak up or talk back to him, do anything and everything he says, and to love him unconditionally no matter WHAT HE DOES!!
These men nowadays be so DELUSIONALLLL!! Women are not your “CHILDREN”, not your “PETS”, and not your “PLAY TOY”!! Women are HUMAN BEINGS, the first creature to “eat the apple”, to defile all odds and eat from the tree of GOOD and EVIL. They are GROWN ADULTS that deserve to be RESPECTED, LOVED and CHERISHED!! These men be requiring A WHOLE LIST of things they want a woman to do for them… and HALF of the stuff they can’t even provide for THEMSELVES! Also, they
expect women to do WAYYY MOREEE in the relationship than they do…..These men just put in the BARE MINIMUM with women. Ladies, ask yourself this question: WHAT DOES HE BRING TO TABLE other than 3 MINUTE SEX and a HEADACHE!?
Do not stay around trying to convince him that he should invest in your relationship. That would be a waste of your time, energy and your innate goodness. Move on if you feell you are putting in too much effort. Move on if you feel it’s not working. Move on if after years of dating, you still don’t have the ring on that finger.
You’ll find someone who is 100% open to what you have to offer, and when the time is right, he will commit to you without any second thoughts.
MEN, COME AND DEFEND YOURSELVES……????????
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Rev. Dr. Elijah Ireneus Kwame Bununya
Well I think there is a particular category of men you are describing and likewise there is a counterpart of such in the system.
However, frankly speaking there are ladies who enjoy that type of guy’s company.
No woman is a robot and there is no woman who doesn’t know what she wants. If you are in such a relationship and know what you are looking for then just advice yourself.
Don’t go about saying men are wicked or all men are the same. HAVE YOU TRIED ME ?
Judy Agbeli
You know is hard to just walk out of a relationship you have invested so much time and years into. Especially with our ticking clocks. I do understand them and this personal decision needs to be made at one point
Priscilla
It’s so true to be real…I actually was thinking I’ve been too not right about what I want…but this says it all…It also feels relieving that at least someone shares my thoughts and my current situation…Thank you for this piece…I deserve better and it makes sense really.
Judy Agbeli
thanks for sharing darling
Adjoa Akwaboah
It’s time we acknowledge ourselves as strong women and learn to walk out from such toxic relationships.
A lot brood over wasted years but there’s always enough time to pick up the pieces and move on.
We are the last creatures but trust me, we are the most daring.
Don’t underestimate your strength as a woman and more importantly know your worth.
Judy Agbeli
Exactly. why waste your years on a relationship that will yield you nothing but sadness at the end. it is hard to walk out, we acknowledge this fact but we need to be strong to make serious life decisions
Awura Abena
I really enjoyed it but let me tell you that not all men are the same. But it up to us the ladies to know the type of guy and relationship that we are in and also take a bold step to move on if it’s not working for us.
Judy Agbeli
not at all. all men can never be the same. i had a convo with a guy yesterday and the way he has invested his time learning the bible and letting it guide his marriage. how he helps his wife with her chores and makes sure their connection still in strong. as you stated, know what you want, know how you want to see your future and work towards it. i appreciate the comment
AA
These days both men and women waste one another’s time in relationships due to some benefits they are receiving and they might not necessarily have their supposed partners in their long term plans. I think that’s very selfish and a high form of wickedness. Again, it’s true that some few men may describe a “slave” for a wife material, but some women can tax! Automatically their men assume the responsibility of taking care of their everyday expenses. So it’s both ways and this is sad.
Judy Agbeli
well noted.
Ohene kena
Interesting write up! One thing I always advice is if you think it’s not working out, just work out & not compromise!! Forget about the investment and time, a better person awaits you.
Judy Agbeli
a better person indeed awaits you.
Emmanuel
Well said my dear considering how emotional and passionate you made your point.
I think that some young men and ladies out of curiosity would want to undertake experiment concerning relationship and love making without considering the effect in their lives.
Secondly, the rush to embark on relationship without asking the partner critical questions and without properly observing the partner to make an informed decision. And that makes me believe the saying that ” love is blind”. So the mutual respect and responsibility that both partners must exhibit don’t come to fore.
Lastly, I must say that the quest for fun takes the centre stage in the relationship while the most important aims of the relationship are relegated to the background. So, it’s seems that to the young men and ladies of today, relationship and love making is all about having fun once the means to do so is/are available. And this makes me want to believe the saying that ” Birds of the same feathers flock together”. So when the relationship doesn’t cos the expectations are not met at a point in time, then there comes the blame game .
This topic you have raised is one of the important issues that must be of concern to every well meaning human being. Keep up the good work. Thanks dear.
Felicia
Very well said, thanks for sharing your views